“So, tell me, Goddess, where do we go from here. I assume you have not appeared in my life just because we go way back. Is there something you would like me to do? I mean, why else would you be here?”
“I am here because your soul reached out to me. I am here because you are ready now to take what you know to a new level in your own life and become a beacon of truth and possibility to others.”
My mouth dropped open as if my ears alone couldn’t take in her words. “Oh, is that all? That sounds pretty lofty. Who am I to be a beacon of truth? Sometimes I don’t even know what is true for me, much less knowing what is true for other people. Besides, that is something only they can really know.”
“Ah, but you do know. You have spent lifetimes learning this, culminating in the granddaddy lifetime of all lifetimes, this one! You walked into this life knowing you would have some, shall we say, dramatic experiences for the purpose of having that knowing available to you consciously. Experience is the only real teacher, and the only way of truly knowing anything, as you have learned. You created a variety of different situations and perspectives so that you would come to your own truth. You may not walk around constantly weighing and measuring things to see if they fit for you but the vein of truth that is aligned with your Expanded Self has been reinforced in your consciousness many times over. At this point a simple glance in the direction of something that comes into your awareness is enough for you to know whether or not it is something with which you are aligned and that will serve you going forward.
“You do revert to the old game of hiding what you know from yourself on occasion just to remind yourself how it feels to be so much in the dark and unaware of your truth, but at this point it is only a matter of consciously reminding yourself this is an old game and in the moment of that awareness you are right back in the center of your being, once again.” She reached out and touched my shoulder with great affection. “We know how difficult this has been for you and you have the gratitude of all of heaven for your willingness to participate in this grand experiment and show us how challenging it is to be fully human, including the living under the heaviness of the veil and completely forgetting who you are for so long.
“And now there is a call going out from so many on Earth for the return of the Goddess, the return of the Divine Feminine, which as been denied for ages, quite literally. Women in particular are reaching for something more than what they have known. They are slowly returning to their senses and getting glimpses of who they are. This is where you come in,” The Goddess said, with a conciliatory wink.
“I was wondering when we would get to this part. Where, exactly, do I come in?”
“You may do this in any way you chose to or you are free to forego this exercise and do something else, entirely, if that is your desire,” she looked me straight in the eye to be certain I understood that what I do is not prescribed. I am not obligated to do anything. I nodded to assure her I understood her meaning.
“Go on,” I said, feeling my anticipation mounting, as though someone, somewhere ought to be filling the space with a drumroll.
“Your role, should you choose to accept it, is to embody joy, live from your heart and express beauty and grace in all you do.”
“That’s it? Embody joy? That’s my big, mysterious role on the planet? That’s what I have gone through hell to do? Live from my heart? Seriously? I don’t get it. I thought there was something grand and important for me to do. Something that would make a difference in my life and the lives of those around me. I mean, living from my heart is something I’ve always wanted to do. I feel I am doing that more and more all the time, but…”
“Before you get completely carried away stop for a moment. How many people do you think there are on your planet today who have ever seen anyone live from their heart, much less live that way themselves? Most people think joy is something that is fleeting and mostly unattainable. You know differently. You know that joy is a spiritual state of being and is possible at any moment it is chosen,” the Goddess was leaning in closer as she spoke. “And when I say embody joy I don’t mean walking around with a smile pasted on your face every moment of the day. Joy is of the essence. It is the natural state of your being—it is the nature of being human, though that information is buried deep in your coding and most have no real access to it, so encumbered are they with the state of the world, the fears that they are so busy keeping at bay, and the layers of conditioning under which they exist in order to fulfill the roles they feel give them significance in their lives.
“You know better. You have released lifetimes of old roles and habits and states of being that you tried on and used for the experience of living from a multitude of perspectives. It is true that you got stuck in a few for some time but that is part of the fun of being human, is it not?”
“No disrespect intended, Goddess, but you really have no clue how difficult it can be to carry on without a shred of evidence that things can ever really improve. Or how hard it can be to live with your heart wide open and have it stomped on by people whose hearts have never been open. This human condition business is not for cowards. It literally takes me to my knees at times. I don’t know if I have what it takes to do what you’ve proposed,” I turned my head to look out the window, not able to bear to see the disappointment I was sure I’d see if I looked in her eyes.
“You were designed to live with your heart open, daughter. That is when you are most alive. That is when you are impervious to the slings and arrows of other peoples’ misunderstandings. The real pain comes from living with the door to your heart slammed shut and holding it so. The experiences you are recalling were painful because you were looking to others for approval. Your heart was truly only open a crack, just enough for you to see if it was safe. Fear was ruling the day and for that reason it was fear that was reflected back to you rather than the love you were seeking. Love comes from within. No one can give it to you, they can only reflect back to you the love that you have for yourself.”
I knew she was right. I knew that I had never had the nerve to live from my heart for any period of time. My old insecurities had run me for such a long time that I’d forgotten how much resistance I had to opening up and really feeling my life from my heart and living from love. Oh, I talked a good game. I wrote about the heart and what a heart needs and how it feels to love and that love is, indeed, the answer to all of our life’s questions. How could I do this and not think that at some point it would be important for me to walk my talk, to live the truth rather than continue to hide it from myself. The Goddess was right. Living from my heart was a choice, a choice that offered more promise than any other way of living I could imagine. It was also something that would require discipline and patience and practice. This was a bold choice and one that few chose. And if it is true, as the Beatles wrote and I have sung more times than I could possibly count, that all you need is love, why not rise to the occasion and embrace it whole-heartedly. It was becoming clear to me that there was no other choice, really.
“How is this done then, Goddess? Do I just put aside my fears and go for it?”
Music suddenly erupted from Her depths and a beautiful golden glow surrounded Her as the Goddess laughed. She was as surprised as I was at the sound it made and looked quite pleased with this merry discovery. “Oh, that is the most pleasant sensation, your laughter, isn’t it.”
“I’ve never heard a goddess laugh before. That was impressive, by the way. I love to laugh and it does feel great but judging from what I just saw it is a little different for you than it is for the rest of us. What a beautiful voice you have! How do you do the thing with the color. That is very cool! I’d love to know how that’s done. Now that would make people sit up and pay attention! Once they got over the shock they would probably want to learn how to do it, too. Sorry to interrupt. Where were we? Oh, that’s right, you laughed at me. What was so funny?”
“I was laughing at how seriously you take your so called fears. They are really just stuck energy that needs to be acknowledged and released so you can begin to live full-time from love, from your heart.
“Fears are simply illusions that you created in order to play the game. There is nothing to them at all. As one of your human brothers once said, “There is nothing to fear but fear, itself.”
“I forget how much you have forgotten about all of this. You know it all as well as I do. You wouldn’t have come back when you did if you weren’t confident that you could drop the fears and limitations and live from your heart. That was the original mission. That is the angle and vibrational frequency you came in on. You knew you could wake up in the body this time and that you would easily recognize that fear was nothing but part of the game. You knew that this was the time when this could happen. The veil itself is thinner now than it has ever been. It is possible to access your Expanded Consciousness now in a way that was not available in any previous lifetime.”
“Yes, I can feel the truth of what you are saying. I’m still not sure how this will work for me. I still have some areas of my life that illicit a great deal of fear from me. I hope I am strong enough to overcome them,” I told her, noticing that doubt had walked in and was standing between us, casting his long shadow over me. “What if I forget to remember? What if I can’t stay in my heart?”
“Fear has been a companion for a very long time. It is okay to set him free now. He has served you very well and now you are better served by his absence. You can trust yourself now. You have learned. Your judgment is sound and even if you make a choice that is not to your liking, by coming from love things will easily reform themselves in a way that is pleasing to you, should you wish it so. Fear is insignificant in the face of love. There is nothing on Earth that is not born of love. The fundamental nature of life is love. So as you live love, you are deeply connected to the source of your life and to the source of the light of the world.