You were designed to live with your heart open, daughter. That is when you are most alive. That is when you are impervious to the slings and arrows of other people’s’ misunderstandings. The real pain comes from living with the door to your heart slammed shut, and holding it so.
The experiences you are recalling are painful because you were looking to others for approval. Your heart was truly open only a crack, just enough for you to see if it was safe. Fear was ruling the day and for that reason it was fear that was reflected back to you, rather than the love you were seeking.
Love comes from within. No one can give it to you, they can only reflect back to you the love you have for yourself.
~Goddess of Now